yes. i am happy. but i didn't know this happiness came bundled with a hint of sadness.
today's my last day of training. felt really happy... yesterday, thinking that today's gonna be my last day and all. but today as i watched the time passed, as it got closer to five, i felt a hint of sadness that was not supposed to be there. i thought i'll feel really happy, like completely happy, but as it happens, i didn't felt that kind of euphoric explosion.
i'm not missing the work, mind you =P it's just that i feel like i'm not a part of something anymore. before i pack up, i was deleting some stuff from the pc that i was using for the past 6 months. all my work - my reports, my program, the documents that i did, the pictures and all, seeing them being deleted one by one from the pc. but this is not the worst. the worst was not being able to complete the last task given. my last task. i guess i won't feel that bad if i had finished it.
anyway, i guess attachment is a funny thing. it's like we human beings have the tendency to grow invicible arm and grab hold of something. the longer we hold on to it, the harder it is to let go. and when the time comes for us to let go, the invicible fingers just won't let loose but instead held on tighter. and the only way to let go is... urm... cutting off your own arm. yeah, it hurts alot. but after a period of time, the pain starts to ease and it's like you've grown another invicible arm (like a lizard's tail =P), ready to grab something else and the process starts all over again. if we are lucky, we would never have to let go, but it does not matter cause we also have the ability to grow more than one invicible arm =)
thanx for everything & i'm gonna miss all of you
-phing-
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